5 things for when life treats you bad & weather drama

There are unfortunate circumstances that happen in life, that there is nothing you can do about. You didn’t create it. You didn’t do anything to make it happen. You don’t support it or even want it around.  But there it is. And you have to deal with it. Everybody has things they just wish they didn’t have to deal with. Sometimes life is just unfair. When bringing this fact to my Daddy’s attention, he will always say, “Fair is where grandma takes her pickles.” Point taken.

If you have never encountered a situation that has completely pulled the rug out from under you, that you had no control over, you are so blessed. However, don’t get too comfortable, because there’s a good chance, it’s coming. What kind of events am I referring to?

  1. Sickness– Either yours or someone very close to you.
  2. A broken relationship– This could be a husband, wife, child, sister, brother, mother, father, friend. Anyone that means something to you.
  3. Finances-losing a job, not being able to work due to sickness, etc.,.
  4. Addiction– yours or someone close to you.
  5. Loss– The loss of a loved one.

Y’all, this is just a short list. In our daily lives, there are all kinds of things that can be thrown at us. Unwanted things & situations we just wish we did not have to deal with. However, I am a firm believer, that’s just life. Life is not simple. It can be really hard sometimes. There are things that we go through that maybe we are ashamed of or don’t think anyone cares or understands. No matter what there is always, always, always something to be thankful for. Even if it’s that all days are not like the one you just had! Here are some ways to make it through a tough time.

  1. Realize. Realize that not everyone was raised like you. Not everyone wants to change. Not everyone cares they are causing you problems. Realize you cannot change anybody. Realize you are in charge of you & that’s all.

II Timothy 3:6 (NKJV) For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lust

                2. Think. Think about how you will react to situations. All the hollering and             kicking and screaming will not change some folks. Don’t put yourself through it. Just don’t. Those are the people who are not worth it.

Proverbs 18:24 (NKJV) A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

(AND THEN THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT OUR FRIENDS. The quicker you take this into account, the better off you will be.)

3. Pray. I know this is just a given. But you know, sometimes the rug can be pulled  out from under us so quickly, that we forget to go to the Lord in prayer. If you haven’t heard, the Lord has all the answers. We just need to make sure we are talking to him & taking it all to Him in prayer.

Nahum 1:7 (NKJV)The Lord is good,
A stronghold in the day of trouble;
And He knows those who trust in Him 

          4. Focus. Focus on the good. Focus on someone else, who may not have it as good as you do. Focus on helping others & being a light, in a dim world. Focus on what you can do to make something easier for someone else.

I Corinthians 9:24 (NKJV) Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it.

              5. Encourage. Be an encouragement for everyone around you. I promise you, if you are thinking of others & loving them, your problems will most of the time take care of themselves.  Be so busy loving others, you don’t have time to think of the hatefulness of others.

Psalm 31:24  (NKJV)24 Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart,
All you who hope in the Lord.

 

I know hard times can be, well, hard. We just need to have a plan to make it. If not, things can spiral pretty quickly. We need to love others and be sure to not be selfish. Find someone to talk to about what you are going through. You may be surprised to learn, others may be going through the same thing or may have a way to cope until things get better. **I do want to mention, some people struggle with depression. It’s not really something that just giving yourself a pep talk will take care of. Sometimes you need to see a doctor. And that’s okay. There are all kinds of medications to help you cope. Don’t be ashamed. You don’t have to be on them forever. Just to help you out, when you need it. Know that you are not an island. Other people depend on you. So, take care of yourself.** And know, the Lord is there for you. He wants to help you through your challenging times. Bad things happen to good people. But, the Lord shows you how to weather the storm & learn lessons you can only learn through difficult times. Then, you will have the experience to help someone else. And isn’t that what it’s all about? Loving and helping each other.

I thought I was done, but I do have one more thing to say.

Bad times happen to everybody.

It’s just how we view them & work through them that make the difference.  We accept good from God. We also have to accept trials.

Ecclesiastes 9:11 I returned and saw under the sun that— The race is not to the swift, Nor the battle to the strong, Nor bread to the wise, Nor riches to men of understanding, Nor favor to men of skill; But time and chance happen to them all.

I hope everyone is having a blessed week. It has been cold here. I wore my sandals to work the other day and about froze my toes off. 35 degrees is still 35 degrees whether it’s in April or December. LORD HAVE MERCY, I know it’s going to warm up, but it sure is taking it’s time! Beats all I’ve ever seen. We are still playing softball. And by we, I mean Miss Neenee. She is enjoying the fire out of it, to our dismay of long, cold nights sitting outdoors, at a ball field.

Until next time, I should be going, because I should be washing clothes.

photo credits: makeameme.org, , know your role, Calvin & Hobbes

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

5 things to help you when dealing with illness & being thankful for the little things

I was talking to a co-worker, the other day. I was sharing how many boxes I had to use to store my 2017 files. Normally, I use about 6. This year, I have already filled up 11 boxes & have more to go. We were talking about how blessed we were to have had a lot of work last year.  It also made me think about my mama & how she thought about work.

If you are new here, you may not know, but my mama passed away in 2002. She had multiple sclerosis. She was a wonderful person, not to mention the best mama in the WORLD. She became ill in her early 40s. So when I hit my early 40s guess what I thought was going to happen to me?? Yep. I got past it & thanked the Lord for it.  Looking back, I learned so many lessons while she was sick. It was a terrible time for our family. But we stuck together. One of the things I remember about my mama was that she worked hard. She worked at home & she worked an outside job. Once she got sick, I can remember on many occasions talking to her about work. There were times I would come in after work & be so tired. She would always tell me to be thankful.  She would say,

” Be glad you can go to work. I would just give anything if I could.”

That has really stuck with me through the years. I think of that when I get stressed or aggravated, at work. I am so blessed to have a good job & thankful I am healthy enough to go to work. When you get sick & tired of work & think how hard you must have it, just remember there’s those out there who would love to be healthy & able to hold down a job. Now that I look back on all those times when my mama was sick, I think of lessons I learned. And that’s something I want to say today. If you are going through a sickness of your own or someone else you love, here are some things to keep in mind:

1. Keep moving. Oh, it’s ok to stop & have a moment here & there. But look for the opportunities to do good.  You will do no good living on the corner of gloom and doom. Yes, it’s a tough deal, that no one wants to deal with. If you use your time to count your blessings & look ahead, things won’t be so grim. At one time, Mama was on the one at church, that you called to report announcements. She would take them down & give them to my Dad for church. She loved talking to people & letting them know they had our support. Find something you enjoy & keep going.

2. I learned just because you have a pain, doesn’t mean you have to be a pain. The nurses & nurses aids that cared for my mama always loved her. She hated to be in the position she was in. And she deeply appreciated those doing for her what she could no longer do for herself.

3. Never lose sight of God. In times of trials, it is so easy to question God & want to know why. There are no real good reasons why bad things happen to good people except that we live in a fallen world where the bad comes with the good. Accept it. It’s reality. We all deal with things we wish we didn’t have to. Keep your faith in God alive & well. Sometimes it’s all we have. Mama went to church even when my daddy would have to get her ready, pick her up & put her in the van, & push her in with her sitting in a wheelchair. That is true love for God.

Job 2:10 Shall we indeed accept good from God & shall we not accept adversity? (NKJV)

4. Look for the happy times. Illnesses are awful. But there is good in everything. I got to spend lots of quality time with my precious mama those last few years of her life. We learned to look for the little things, in our day, to help us make it through. Like getting the mail, the nurse coming, an unexpected guest, cooking special dishes, receiving cards from friends & family or ordering out. I can say, most of the time she kept a good attitude. Which I believe her thankfulness helped keep her grounded with her illness.

5. Keep your sense of humor. I can remember a lot of different times when mama would say, “Don’t that beat all?” Then she would laugh about whatever mess we had gotten ourselves into. Because, bless my heart more times than not, every time we tried to do something I would end up making things twice as hard as they really were. Things that were normally easy, was tough, when she was bedfast. Washing her hair was a total mess sometimes. Because how do you wash someone’s hair in the bed? I usually ended up getting her soaking wet. She would laugh & say she never thought she would have to swim with her gown on.  Laughing would help break up the monotony of the reality of what was really going on.

 Ephesians 4:28  Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labor, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.(KJV)

I hope you are having a blessed week. It’s been very rainy the past few days. And cold. We have thankfully been in the house! I hope you are somewhere sunny, with balmy wind hitting you in the face. I won’t be too jealous! Until next time, I should be going, because I should be washing clothes.

Click on the free printable to download scripture memory cards for encouragement.

 

photo credit: http://www.meetpenny.com, pinterest

 

 

The time I thought I was wrong & how ’bout them single digit temperatures???

 

 

 

wrong

The other day Miss Neenee posed this question:

“Mama, how long have you been out of school?”

I did my best mental math guess & said quickly,

“25 years.”

“Wow,” she said.  And then our morning carried on with other scurrying around, trying to get ready, so that I could get her to school on time so that she wouldn’t thus again, be the only 5th grader to ever have detention in the history of 5th grade detention for being late.  (Which is at the top of my list in my book of

“Things In Life That Are CLEARLY Ridiculous.”

Giving elementary school students detention for something they OBVIOUSLY have no control over is down right awful.  What kind of people do that stuff to little kids?  At no time has an elementary student, who does not live within walking distance to a school, EVER been able to get themselves to school.  In my neck of the woods, someone either gets them ready & puts them on a bus or drives them in a vehicle.

SPOILER ALERT to ALL PRINCIPALS, ASSISTANT PRINCIPALS & ANYONE WHO HAS AUTHORITY TO MAKE RULES & HAS HATE FOR LATE PEOPLE:

Kids cannot drive themselves to school. 

Thus having to be at the mercy of people who can drive & will drive them to school.  Who may perhaps have a time management issue or a morning disability.  Believe me people when I say mornings are hard.  They just are & I declare that there is a real disease or virus or something that hits some people every morning.  The symptoms of this non-fatal sickness is irritability, being disoriented, the ability to not be able to control how many times you hit snooze, & lateness.  If you haven’t ever heard of it, well, now you have.  You are welcome.  It’s not really catching.  However, for those of us that suffer from it, getting out of bed may be the worst thing that has happened to us all day.  For me, this is not something new.  I have been this way my entire life.  Even though I know & hope I will be able to wake up daily. Still. Hard. Stuff.  Don’t judge me.  Just know this is the world I live in.)

Ahem!  You can’t see me, but I am now stepping down off of my soap box.

To the story at hand:  After I got to work, I got to thinking about it.  Wait a minute.  There’s no way I could be out of school for 25 years.  I thought about it again.  I’ve only been out of school 15 years.

Oh my WORD.  (Which is evidently something I say too much because my grandson has started saying it, to my daughter’s dismay.)

I have given incorrect information to my sweet daughter, who unbeknownst will work this into every conversation she has, because 25 years is like 100 years to an 11 year old.  How could I have been THAT wrong?

So, for the best part of my day, I could not get it off my mind how my wrong date of high school graduation was being put out there for everybody to know.  I mean seriously.  I would have to correct this as soon as I could.  I thought about having a fake emergency so that I could ask the school secretary to get Miss Neenee out of class, to call me before too much damage was done.  But I didn’t.

Then, it happened.  Later on in the day, it occurred to me they make these where I come from. calculator

 

I could just recap my accurateness of my tenure out of high school.  So, 2015 minus 1990 equals…

Well, you know the rest.  It was a pretty big shock to me, too.  Not that I haven’t attended my 20th year class reunion, well a few years ago.  That never crossed my mind AT ALL.  So, it ends up, I was not wrong at all.  I am old & most days can pretty much vouch for feeling it, as well.

Is forgetfulness a bad thing?  Not really.  As I get older, I tend to forget how much I am wronged.  I forget how to be angry all the time.  I forget to let things weigh on my mind.  I forget to be judgmental. (Thank you Lord, for letting me get past that one.)

The Hebrew writer said Jesus is good at forgetting, too.

Hebrews 8:12 For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.” (NKJV)

The psalmist said in

Psalms 103: 12 As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. (NKJV)

Thank goodness the Lord is a good forgetter.  That works out real well for me.

I hope you are having a wonderful week.  It has been COLD here in northeast Mississippi.  Pretty sure somebody left the freezer door open outside last night.  It was a blustery 12 degrees at my house this morning.  No Southerner is really prepared for that.  Bring on spring is all I can say. Until then, I have to be going because I should be washing clothes.

My favorite love story & I sure hope I get some chocolate for Valentine’s Day

love biblet

Valentine’s Day is just right around the corner.  Do you have plans?  I know lots of people celebrate their love this time of the year. I think that’s great.  However, showing your love for someone should be all about how you live every day.  Because you never know when the other person may be gone.  Which brings me to one of my most favorite love stories of all.  The one about my Mama & Daddy.  I will try my best to not let this be drawn out.  I will also ask your patience as I squall like a baby the whole time I am telling this.

As most of you know, my mother passed away in 2002 from complications of Multiple Sclerosis.  Leading up to that, I have to tell you, she was so sick.  My Daddy had some choices to make.  He could either stay around & try to take care of her the best he could or he could tuck tail & run as fast as he could.  Well, he hung around.

Up until her sickness, they had been that couple.  You know the ones.  The ones that had it all together.  The ones that people went to for help.  The ones that were always there to support others.  The ones that loved everybody.  They were “the preacher & his wife”.  Don’t get me wrong.  Just like any couple, they had their problems.  But in the end, they were right there for each other.

My Daddy got the job as caregiver far too early.  When Mama was hurting & sick & tired of it all & she would call him to her bedside to pray for her, she would say,

“Just pray.  Pray for me to go.”  Well, good grief.  Most people would have fell apart right there at such a request.

My Daddy has always been the positive one.  He would say,

“You shouldn’t say that.  Just think of all the treasures you are laying up in heaven.”

Confused at where he was going with this, she replied,

“What in the world are you talking about?”

“Well, “ Daddy explained. “you being sick, has been a blessing to others.  Just look at all the good deeds people have done because of you.  Our friends & family are here all the time, bringing food, paying visits, calling to see if you need anything.  You are helping people to store up treasures in heaven.”

With that, she said, “Then store you up some treasures in heaven & go get me a bowl of ice cream.”

Daddy would get her ready for church, pick her up, put her in the van, & push her in sitting in a wheelchair.  Some Sundays when Daddy finally made it to church with Mama, he would be exhausted.  But he never complained.  He worked 3 jobs so that he could make enough to pay for Mama’s medical expenses.

He got up every morning & made her breakfast before he set out on his 1st job.  Not something frozen, warmed up.  Homemade biscuits, scrambled eggs, sawmill gravy, bacon, country ham, or sausage & fresh brewed coffee.

BREAKFAST

Daddy learned, from Mama, how to make the best biscuits in the world.  He would be in the kitchen hollerin’ how much of what needed to go in the bowl. And she would be telling him, from the bedroom, how to make a well out of the flour & put the liquid ingredients in the middle of the bowl.  That’s how my Daddy learned how to make the buttermilk biscuits, I would put them up against any granny’s out there.  They. Are. That. Good.

how-to-make-homemade-biscuits-7When she finally had to go in the nursing home, he went to see her EVERY day.  She had fresh flowers in her room, from him, at all times.  On Daddy’s request, the manager at the local Hardee’s would make sure Mama had a smoked sausage & biscuit, day or night.  If anything was wrong or amiss, it was my Daddy’s name my Mama was calling.  When you ask Daddy how he did it all, he will kindly tell you he didn’t have to do it.  He got to do it.  Mama & Daddy loved each other before she got sick.  But their real love story came after she got sick.  That’s when the rubber met the road, so to speak.  When the cream rose to the top.  That’s when it really counted.  It was a true, Godly love they had.

man

The one God said was between a man & woman.

My Daddy stepped up, out of love & honor, for my Mama.  And she let him.  That’s my favorite love story.

Lord have mercy, I am an emotional wreck after all that.  But it’s ok.  I wanted to share it with you all.  Now that I’ve bawled my eyes out, I should feel better.  I hope you have a beautiful Valentine’s Day.  One with chocolate & the like.  I should be getting some chocolate.  When I say should be, I mean hope someone gets me some because, if I don’t receive any, I will be purchasing some.  Just for the comradery of it all.  Here’s wishing you chocolate kisses & Russell Stover heart shaped candy boxes filled with chocolates this Valentine’s Day.  Until I get my own Valentine’s candy, I will be going because I should be washing clothes.

photo credits: http://www.mydiaryyourstory.blogspot.com,www.raleigh.corpcaterers.com, http://www.diyready.com

 

What is gumption & where do you get it?

courage

I would like to talk about something today, that some people may not want to hear.  Before you stop reading all together, it does not have anything to do with blood, guts, or anything you might have to squint your eyes, just to look at it.  This is more personal.  You know when we start to get personal, things can get hard.  People don’t like to face their short comings.

Since I was very young, I have been of the opinion, that when hard things are presented to me to take responsibility for, if I don’t admit it’s a problem, then it’s not.  I don’t try to put the blame on someone else.  I just don’t want to acknowledge it.  If you don’t admit it, then it’s not really happening, right?  My Daddy loves to tell how when I was little & got caught doing something I should not, I would say,

“Let’s just not talk about that.” 

Not much has changed.  Although, I do try harder to be more responsible, now that I’m older & wiser, ya know.  So, let’s all get on our big girl(or boy) pants & open our minds to what I am about to say.  If it applies to you, I ask that you think about what you really have going on.  And make things right.  If it does not apply to you, great!  Try to help someone that it might.pants

There are things that have happened to us in life or will happen to us, that is not pleasant.  Things that you would just rather not have to deal with.  Problems that come up or untimely issues, that just have a way of surfacing.  These are things that need tending to.  These things cannot be put off.  Like when someone passes away, or you lose your job, or your husband or wife decides they would rather run off & chase a rabbit than be responsible for a family.  Maybe someone’s health has failed them.  Or your health has failed you.  You know, hard stuff.  When you are on the receiving end of these tragedies, how you react makes all the difference in the world.

The most positive way to react is to get you some gumption.  If you do not know what gumption is, nor where in the world you would get it, let me tell you about it.  My Mama used to say in a bad situation,

“He just needs to get some gumption & go on with it.” 

Or she would say,

 “He ain’t gonna do it , because he ain’t got the gumption.” 

Either way gumption is the same as courage or guts.  It could mean having the common sense to do something, too.  Now, if you have trouble getting you some gumption, then, I suggest you pray about it & let the Good Lord help you with it.  Gumption is necessary in life.  We have to have it many times, whether we want to face things & or not.  People who do not have gumption are sorry, lowdown, cusses who deserve what they get.  Life is like a circle.  What comes around goes around.  You reap what you sow.

If you have things happen to you, & you don’t get you some gumption & handle it in the right way, then, whatever comes to you comes.  I pray one day you will see the error of your way, before it’s too late.  A person who may have not had the gumption to do the right thing, in one situation, may take a turn & decide to make things right.  You have to give that person the benefit of the doubt.  However, when presented with several opportunities to do right & they just won’t, don’t waste your time with those people.  It’s Just.Not.Worth.It.  I hope you don’t have to deal with others who refuse to get some gumption.  If you do, just remember, they may eventually come to their senses.  Then, we have to be there to have some gumption, as well.

Gumption is sometimes hard to find.  However, if you want gumption bad enough, it will come to you.  Pray about it.  God will be glad to help.  He said so.

John 14:14  If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it. (ESV)

King David found out that not having gumption was a hard thing to live with.  When he decided to sleep with another man’s wife & then kill that man, his regrets finally caught up to him.

Psalms 32:3-4 For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. (ESV)

But David did the right thing.  He got him some gumption & asked God’s forgiveness.

Psalms 32: 5  I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. (ESV)

I am so glad you came by to visit today.  Thank you for letting me get that off my chest today.  It’s nice when you just lend me your ear like that.   I hope it is a beautiful day wherever you are.  The humidity has been released, yet again, in full force, here in northeast Mississippi.  It’s just like the top was popped & ever so gently pulled back.  The humidity just came pouring on out!   I hope to be seeing you all again, soon. Until then, I will have to be going, because I should be washing clothes.

sweet tea

photo credits: pinterest, adodsons.com,shebrands.com